I got ‘the call’ this morning from mum to say that the hospice had asked her to come straight away as things ‘weren’t right’ with Jim. I said I’d meet her there as I live closer and proceeded to drive like a woman possessed across the city to Willen. When I arrived I power walked my way down to his room on the far side of the hospice [I really wanted to run but it felt inappropriate] and found him looking ashen and in so much pain he was writhing on the bed. The staff were there holding his hand, reassuring him and administering strong pain medication every few minutes in order to try and relieve his suffering. They’d turned his bed round so he was looking directly out across that beautiful lake.
They all moved away to let me get close to the bed and his eyes and hands soon found mine. I was crying and he said “don’t cry sweetheart” and I said “but I just love you” and he said “I love you more” and I said with a bit of a smile in my voice “I don’t think you do”. We just held each other close for a very long time. I really thought this was it.
The nurse bought me a cuppa and I sat there trying to help him through the pain as it seemed to come in waves, all the time praying the Our Father over and over in my head. He held onto my hand like a drowning man. He’d had a ‘gentle’ fall this morning and had initially seemed alright but suddenly he experienced excruciating pain in his leg and chest and went downhill very quickly. After a while the nurse came back and gave him another shot and said that if in five minutes that hadn’t worked then she’d be calling in the big guns. She promised Jim that she was going to make it stop and that they were not going to let him suffer. Such lovely, lovely people. He asked to change his tshirt as he was sweating with the effort of dealing with the pain so I called a nurse and together we changed his top and his pillow cases. It was nice to feel useful. Not long after that mum arrived and we sat there either side with a hand each and very gradually the waves of pain began to lessen and he started to sleep peacefully.
After about three hours of sitting there talking quiety between ourselves Jim opened one eye and announced he was hungry. I asked him if he’d like some melon, which they always seem to have there, as his mouth was so dry I thought it would be quite refreshing. He promptly said yes, melon would be great and a roast beef sandwich!!!! Oh really ~ I had to laugh!! Off mum trotted to the kitchen where they went about cutting melon and making a roast beef sandwich. I have never seen a bowl of melon slices and a roast beef sandwich disappear quite so fast. Amazing!!
So a corner has been turned and we live to fight another day. When I left an hour later he’d had another change of clothes and sheets and was sat up in bed looking out at that wonderful view. As always we hugged and I said “I love you” and he said “I love you too sweetheart”. I hugged mum and left with a mixture of sadness and relief.
I keep praying to God for the strength to deal with this and to be able to be there for them both and God keeps delivering in spades. For that I am forever grateful. Thanks be to God!!
Pax et bonum
Sharon xx
ps the photo’ at the top is of Willen hospice and lake with Willen church behind it. The photo’ is taken from the island that sits in the middle of the lake and is a view of the rear of the hospice. If you look closely at the building you can see a rectangular window immediately to the left of the small dark green tree nestled against the building, there is a light on in it. That is Jim’s room. So you can see what a beautiful view he must have as he looks out at us looking in at him.
Oh darling, this must be so hard for you. I am praying, it’s all I can offer you. I have no words, only prayer, and eyes full of tears.
Mrs.P xx
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Prayers are wonderful though and so appreciated. It also means that you’re thinking of us and that is very touching. Thank you Mrs P xxx Your dad is still in my prayers often xx.
with love S xx
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Thanking God for such a turnaround for Jim
what a beautiful setting he is in, that must help, if only a teeny bit
Wishing you lots more strength Sharon, God is definitely comforting Jim through you …. xxx
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Allie thank you xx. I never thought of it that way ~ me being used as a agent for God to bring comfort to Jim. What a lovely way to look at things. It is beautiful there isn’t it??
love to you
Sharon xx
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My continued prayers for you all. Pax tecum.
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Nicholas ~ always appreciated and often returned. Thank you. S xx
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I have tears in my eyes as I write this Sharon, I really feel for you all. I have been through this with two members of my family and I know how hard and painful it is. My deepest sympathy and concern is for you right now and I promise to keep Jim and your entire family in my prayers.
Love always,
Jess
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Oh Jess, thank you so much. You have my every sympathy if you’ve trod this path before me. What a huge amount of emotions I’m experiencing, as must you with your loved ones. I always remember that however hard it is for me it’s a whole lot tougher for Jim and Mum xx.
In Christ xx
Sharon xx
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